“Is your ANACONDA ready for THANKSGIVING?”
Literally thousands of people in MPLS + STPL joined protests yesterday in response to the CF in Ferguson. The biggest gathering took place at Lake and Minnehaha in front of the 3rd Precinct before the group marched it Hiawatha, which was really pretty cool. The event was almost all peaceful, except some gigantic asshole drove his Subaru right through the crowd and over a lady! The video is nuts.
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It happens every year. You go out “for just a couple hours” on Drunksgiving and the next thing you know, you’re four or five Negronis in, swaying to Fleetwood Mac covers at the Turf or E.L.No at Lee’s, just like your friends at SOTC told you to do. You wake up late on Thanksgiving feeling like you had a lobotomy, and you’re wondering how you will ever make it to Aunt Diane’s house without barfing—much less how you’re going to track down that stupid pie you promised to bring.
Lucky for you, there are some Twincy options to get you back on your feet and feeling human again before you hit the road:
Lots of coffee shops (at least those with good business sense) stay open until early afternoon on Thanksgiving, THANK GOD. While at SotC Award Winner Canteen on Bryant and 32nd yesterday, we heard they were staying open until 2 PM. That sweet, sweet Dogwood coffee (or a fig latte if you’re not too barfy) is really going to hit the spot when your head feels like it’s about to explode. Grab some toast or a Hollybar and you’ll be all set for a loooooong car ride.
If kombucha is your hangover antidote of choice, you need some last-minute groceries, or you just don’t care anymore and you’re going to buy all the food you intended to make, it’s worth it to get to Whole Foods or one of the Mississippi Market locations (which are always open 7:30 to 2:30 on Turkey Day). Whole Foods will definitely be a cluster; Mississippi Market isn’t usually too bad. (We used to work there and traditionally the Thanksgiving crowd would taper off around 11; make sure to watch for some of the most amazingly uncomfortable couple fights you’ll ever see, too.) Cub and Rainbow tend to stay open until 3 or 4 as well if there’s one on your route.
If all else fails, Walgreens, CVS and Denny’s are always open regular hours on Thanksgiving; some McDonald’s, Burger Kings and Pizza Huts are, too. So you can always just go with the Gatorade and McGriddle that a garbage person like you deserves. Godspeed.
We sincerely hope you already did your Thanksgiving grocery shopping, because it is going to be BRUTAL out there tonight. So where will the biggest fights break out? We’re putting our money on a fistfight over the last package of gluten-free stuffing at the St. Louis Park Trader Joe’s, OR a brawl between two Prius owners in the Seward Co-op parking lot—you just know some jackass is going to ignore that “no left turn” sign on 28th Ave. (We always do.)
What are your grocery store showdown predictions? Send ‘em to us, really.